My Husband, The Genius.

I: Man, I am so awake right now even though I hardly slept last night and had a long day of driving and the beach!

G: Well, you did take that little nap in the car.

I: That was only like 20 minutes!

G: Yeah, but maybe that is all you needed! I mean, Leonardo Da Vinci did that.

I: Did what?

G: You know, he didn't sleep normal hours and slept in 20 and 30-minute intervals.

I: (Looks at me) Are you saying you think I'm just like Da Vinci?! Because that is a totally logical connection.

G: Ummmmm......(laughs)

I: I am hearing in your laugh you don't really think that.  That's sad, that you don't have confidence in me.

...the moral of the story is that my husband is EXACTLY like Leonardo Da Vinci. OBVIOUSLY.

He Don't Forget Stuff Neither.

The following was randomly inserted into weekend conversation about grocery shopping or something.

Ian: "Oh yeah so I found out there IS a Carrows over on Sepulveda by that Petco."

Gaby (excited voice): "Oh yeah? We should go."

...back to our normally scheduled programming...

How Do We End Up Here?

Ian: "Is it a twin bed in your butt?"

...don't ask.

Marriage is a Competition

On the way to dinner...

Ian: "I forgot to put my [wedding] ring back on. How about you take your ring off too and we can compete to see how many people hit on us."

He Doesn't Let You Get Away With Anything!

"For someone who doesn't like a lot of clutter, you sure do buy a lot of crap."

(In response to whether we should keep the steel-grate-pot-putter-onner-thing I just bought from Ikea)

High Class DInner

Discussion about dinner:

G: I wish we had a Coco's or a Carrows or something like that nearby. Not a Denny's though.
I: Yeah! Something more 'high class' (said with head wobble)

Gravitational Pulls

"Oh my gosh. Don't be glad. Your eye rolls could cause tsunamis."

Citrusy Adventures

"We did an interesting thing with kumquats the other night."

Rat Race Wisdom

Me: "Just fold this clean laundry! It will just take you two minutes."
Ian: "Everything always takes two minutes..." *begins folding clothes* "...and adds up to my life."

The lesson here, folks, is that laundry inspires deep philosophical insights. Wait, or maybe...no. That's definitely it. 

Don't Waste the Lottery On Us

Ian asks me, "If we won the lottery and we collected our winnings yesterday, what would you do this morning?"

My eyes get big and I say, "I'd do a spa day with the WORKS, at a fancy spa place. What would you do?"

"I'd go out to breakfast." Ian says.

"Yeah! At the Four Seasons or something!" I say (I'm thinking mimosas and lox).

"No!! Just regular breakfast at the French place." (our usual)

How Very British of Us

"This isn't regular tired. Am I drunk? In the tea room?"

Overheard in the Tea Room at the Huntington Library, post-scone basket.  Disclaimer: There was no alcohol involved.

Oh Poop

Overheard by Elle Michalka (she's a lucky girl):

"Josh Parpan, you are full of feces."

Indeed. As we all are. Especially when constipated.

Cookies!

Ian has been stressed of late. Yesterday I brought him a pound of cookies from a fancy Armenian bakery. Today he sent me this text:

"Eating all the cookies. Smiling lots."

Lesson: Never underestimate the power of encouraging your partner's small joys.  Also, butter and sugar heal many wounds.