Gravitational Pulls

"Oh my gosh. Don't be glad. Your eye rolls could cause tsunamis."

Citrusy Adventures

"We did an interesting thing with kumquats the other night."

Rat Race Wisdom

Me: "Just fold this clean laundry! It will just take you two minutes."
Ian: "Everything always takes two minutes..." *begins folding clothes* "...and adds up to my life."

The lesson here, folks, is that laundry inspires deep philosophical insights. Wait, or maybe...no. That's definitely it. 

Don't Waste the Lottery On Us

Ian asks me, "If we won the lottery and we collected our winnings yesterday, what would you do this morning?"

My eyes get big and I say, "I'd do a spa day with the WORKS, at a fancy spa place. What would you do?"

"I'd go out to breakfast." Ian says.

"Yeah! At the Four Seasons or something!" I say (I'm thinking mimosas and lox).

"No!! Just regular breakfast at the French place." (our usual)

How Very British of Us

"This isn't regular tired. Am I drunk? In the tea room?"

Overheard in the Tea Room at the Huntington Library, post-scone basket.  Disclaimer: There was no alcohol involved.

Oh Poop

Overheard by Elle Michalka (she's a lucky girl):

"Josh Parpan, you are full of feces."

Indeed. As we all are. Especially when constipated.

Cookies!

Ian has been stressed of late. Yesterday I brought him a pound of cookies from a fancy Armenian bakery. Today he sent me this text:

"Eating all the cookies. Smiling lots."

Lesson: Never underestimate the power of encouraging your partner's small joys.  Also, butter and sugar heal many wounds.